A no way TM

You were warned, suckers!

Seventh-Inning Stretch

Okay, more like 'Top of the 9th'-- couldn't wait until after the Oct 1 Giants game I'll be attending to next write about the regular season. First off, I'd better get cracking and shoot a new photograph to accompany the Playoff Posts... yes, the glove & ball laying in the grass was taken by yours truly (in Sutro Heights Park)... it just looked like a stock photo. Also, I listened to last night's Giants-Cubs game... 2-1 lead in the 9th, and we end up losing 3-2. Rockies lost too, though (5-4 vs. Padres), so there's still that 1% chance of an SF Wild Card berth already written off by this blog long, long ago. Congrats to NY, Boston, Anaheim, Cards, Phils and-- regrettably-- the Dodgers. Still rooting for the Twins, but time's running out....
  The POINT of this post, however, is to share a transcribed quote I ran across last night. It's something former Giants broadcaster Joe Morgan said in 2006. Remember him? This moron was so universally loathed that there was an entire website devoted to discussing his foibles, gaffs, ticks; not to mention calls for his ousting. I found him annoying, too, but kept an ear tuned: you never know when even the inane might unintentionally drop a zen koan worthy of the Hall of Yogi. Here's what Joe Morgan said of a player at the plate (resulting in stunned silence from his co-worker in the booth, and probably everyone who was listening to KNBR at the time):


"Statistically, he's a better player than the statistics show."

[Inevitability]

GEOLOGISTS ARE CONCERNED

AFGHANISTAN IS BECOMING

ANOTHER VIETNAM

2009 Regular Season, Gemini Edition

PREFACE: Having never blogged until this year (about baseball, or anything else) I've had to learn as I go. Of sporting posts, per se, I'm discovering it's pretty damned hard to stay on top of things without a TV. Haven't owned one since 2005. Bottom line-- bear with me if my offerings seem scattershot, or possess sub-Twitter immediacy.

  Last Friday, a friend of ours was treated to a going [to Minnesota] -away party. Got me thinking about my trip to the Twin Cities in 1991, wherein the wind between the downtown skyscrapers blew a Twins schedule against my pantleg (true story); I picked it up (it was June or July) and told my dad, "This is an omen... THE TWINS SHALL WIN THE WORLD SERIES THIS YEAR!" Don't know if I actually used shall, but the rest is history.

  Over the weekend, watching Joe Torre, Mr. Dreads & You-Say-Ether/Either-Way destroy my Giants, I noticed that the Twinkies were down 2-1 in the 8th. Against ALC division leader Detroit. Unfortunate... I always root for Minn. But what is this?! Twins go on to beat the Tigers, 6-2! As of today, Monday, Twins are roughly three games back, and have to win outright to gain the playoffs. This is because Boston owns the Wild Card, as they tend to do quite often, and brings us nicely to a final thought:

  It was my old friend Chris-- or perhaps his father, Delmas-- both from Texas, who used to always say the Rangers never made the playoffs because by mid-August, and throughout Sept, it's just too fucking hot to play ball in Arlington.

  Funny... on August 1st of this season, it looked like the Rangers were going to win more games than the Red Sox, or even the Angels....

  A final, final thought: Go Twins... sorry to've beaten up on Joe Mauer all year, but someone had to. And it wasn't until July or something that I realized one of my favs, Orlando Cabrera, is now a Twin. Allow me to state this: IF THE TWINS WIN THE CENTRAL, THEY WILL WIN THE 2009 WORLD SERIES.

  You know... unless the PHILLIES or YANKEES win it first.

Third in a series...

Begging to differ, I submitted my retort in a most graphic manner.

Two Rants for the Price of None

A pair of 'types' are emerging here in the City; since I've now heard/seen three examples of each, I thought I'd share a rhetorical thought, followed by some speculation you're all welcome to help me with. Get ready for 'blogging' at its bloggiest!

Case #1: The person [demographically: always Female, in their 50s] who shouts "Thank you, DRIVER!" when getting off the bus. Now, I have no issue with extending the courtesy of a thanks... I do it myself when dropped off in the foggy Hinterlands or the driver is this one really nice black woman I like. But I ask: Why do these people add "driver" ??  You're calling "Thank you" towards the front of the bus... pretty sure the drivers can figure out it is they who are being addressed. Maybe these women just want to make sure the other passengers know that they aren't the ones being collectively thanked-- for providing in-transit companionship, say.

Case #2: The person [demographically: Asian Females, under 40; White Males, over 60] who wears a surgical mask in public, but has it DANGLING UNDER THEIR CHIN, AT THEIR THROAT. I have no qualms with geniuses who've figured out how to thwart swine flu... properly-worn masks are no more or less annoying than T-shirts printed to portray the wearer as having taken the radical, brave stance that they're opposed to cancer or AIDS. But why, I ask, would you strap a surgical mask around your ears in public-- out there amongst the unwashed masses-- and not have it cover your nose and mouth? Can only think of two reasons... again, let me know if there are any more.

  REASON ONE: They're concerned an acquaintance they're due to meet with won't recognize them.  Here I am, Steve! Thank god this surgical mask wasn't obscuring my facial features... you would've walked right by me!

  REASON TWO: They only pull the mask back up into place when needed. Remarkably, they can see those pesky germs and microbes and viruses from a block away! Uh-oh... cloud of H1N1, dead ahead. MASK ON!!  Uh-oh... that guy's about to cough. MASK ON!! Going into Macy's... think I'll wait and see...

  Don't want to put my mask on prematurely.

Greetings from 10,000ft above sea level

2009 Regular Season, vol. 6

Today's topic is a fav among barstool philosophers: WHAT BASEBALL RULE WOULD YOU CHANGE? This season already saw the introduction of a big one, that whole "was it a home run or wasn't it" instant replay jazz, which has been well-received for the most part.

  Here's my gripe, and it concerns official scoring: WHEN A BATTER BATS-IN A RUN, YET SIMULANTANEOUSLY HITS INTO A DOUBLE PLAY, HE IS NOT CREDITED WITH AN RBI. This is, pardon my Norwegian, fucking ridiculous. I have two main arguments for my stance, the first of which is He batted in a run. Period.

  The second comes as an analogy, and I hope I don't get to long-winded. Here goes:

  Driving in a run is good. It helps your team. Fine.

  Hitting into a double-play is bad. It does not help your team. Also fine.

  But the no-RBI-awarded rule implies that, every time, the two potential runs on-/about to become on-base are more valuable than the one run that scored. Interesting. Well, let's supposed you're in a 0-0 game, 5th inning. Runners on first and third, no outs. Your ground ball brings the man home from third, but you've hit into a double play. Now there's 2 outs, but your team leads 1-0. The batter behind you flies out... we move onto the 6th.

  No more runs are scored in the game. Your team has won, 1-0, thanks to your GAME-WINNING AT-BAT. Thanks to your not striking out, or leaving a bunt right in front of the plate, the WINNING RUN WAS ABLE TO COME IN. And this heroic feat is not counted amongst the positive offensive tally on the ol' Topps card?! Outrageous!

  That's about all for today... Joe Mauer's still on another planet with a .366 BA-- a planet where you apparently only need to average 113 gms/season played over the course of your career to lead such a sacred "full season" category. Ouch... cynical today!

  NL Wild Card: Rockies can drop 2 of 3 at AT&T Park this week and still maintain a comfy lead... no, there's not much hope left in Giants Nation. However, I'm buying tickets for one more game this year: Diamondbacks on October 1st.

  Inspired by political factchecking websites, my first post of the postseason will be a comparison of my March predictions with [cue thunder] reality.

More fly-by-night blogging...

[Scale]

What is this? 

It's our recent 54-mile hike in Yosemite...

stretched into a straight line...

superimposed over the state of Rhode Island.

2009 Regular Season, vol. 5

Back from vacation... didja miss me? First off, a big HELLO to Howard at GB (a man who knows his stuff, despite slightly underestimating the Phils.)

  Let's stick with the NL... how 'bout them Cards? Damn. The other teams in the Central must be feeling like the Braves' co-East-ers during that span where they [Atlanta] won the division like 77 years in a row. Which, it might be noted, also happens to be exactly half the age of their manager.

  Ahem.

  Back to StL: In addition to a grotesque lead, players in red hats (or navy... I forget, this is the era of cap-riciousness) boast Majors-bests in HRs, Wins & ERA. Hell, Wainwright nearly takes care of those last two all by himself (18 / 2.59). Fantasy team? I'd rather have him on my Reality Team. Oh... that's the Cardinals this year. Guess it's going to be a great NLCS, huh?

  Watched the Red Sox beat Baltimore last night... thought Boston had some stellar pitching moments, but if it takes 15 hits and 7 runs to beat the Orioles... at Fenway... during a dead-heat Wild Card race.... Too late for the White Sox to sneak in there?

  Finally: CONGRATULATIONS TO DEREK JETER. A great player, a great Yankee.

  And don't forget: his turn on Saturday Night Live is still one of the funniest hosting gigs of the decade.

[Apathetic]